On to the point of this entry. I'm 25. It's been seven years since I graduated high school. You would think high school drama would be forgotten, wouldn't you? Well, you would be incorrect.
Recently, my old choir teacher (Brian Bentley) announced he was retiring. He touched a lot of people (in a good way - get your minds out of the gutter), so a lot of us wanted to do something special for him. A Facebook group was created, which lead to a mini-high school reunion.
Earlier today, an old friend from choir -- Vocal Ensemble, where the most friendships are supposedly made, to be exact -- e-mailed our choir group, encouraging us to attend the final concert on June 1, since we will be singing two tribute songs. Here is part of the message he sent:
We would love everyone there! Since my wife and her family are the ones in charge of the whole thing, I thought I should stress it more to my year. We have had 4 people [one of them being me] participate so far but would love everyone.
I decided to reply to him with the following:
To be honest, our year isn't as close now as we were in high school, and even then, we weren't as close as other years. Heck, hardly anyone talks to me anymore...
I'll be surprised if more people from our year participate on June 1. It would be nice, though. And maybe we can get together afterward to catch up. Just an idea, of course.
Thanks for trying,
Andrew
Did I receive a reply? Nope. I guess I shouldn't have expected one in the first place, even though he was the choir president. The thing is, I'm not sure what I did to my old high school friends to make them stop talking to me. And if it's only because they now know I'm gay, well, that's a pretty petty reason.
That's not it, though. This same person updated his Facebook status, saying he was at a crossroads and didn't know what to do. I commented that he should do what he felt was right for him and his family (vague answer for a vague situation). Did he say "thank you" for the advice? No, he deleted my message (I should mention others have commented on his status as well, and they haven't been deleted). Wtf? What did I do to deserve such treatment?
I'm considering leaving my old choir's Facebook group and deleting all my "friends." But for some strange reason, I can't do it - choir, and my group, meant too much to me to "throw it away" over this stupid drama. *sigh*
/emo
Oh Andy! I hate it when people are like that. Try not to take it personally. It's obviously his issue. It's been my experience that if you want to know something you need to be direct. Send him a private message and ask him directly. What about your other choir friends?
ReplyDeleteI would like to ask him directly, but I doubt he would respond. Most of my other choir friends seem to be like him - they don't talk to me anymore. It's sad.
ReplyDeletehey andy, found your blog on facebook (sorry, im a bit of a blog stalker:-) just wanted to let you know that despite my horrible skills at keeping in touch, not all of us are as flaky (to use a gentler term than douchebag...) as our formerly esteemed president. i wouldn't blog stalk if i didn't care :-)
ReplyDelete-lauren
Hi Andrew! I also stumbled across your blog recently, and I thought I'd leave my comments on this post.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to try and defend the person of whom you spoke in this post, because I know it would probably fall on deaf ears (since I have an obvious bias). All I can do is let you know that he has been in and out of a dark place for quite some time, which has made him slightly less attentive and rather more insensitive than some people would like. He's had a lot weighing down on him, so I know he didn't mean to come off the way he did with you. As for deleting your Facebook comment, I'm not sure why that happened. He's not typically prone to deleting comments, so my only explanation is that it was a mistake (which sounds trite, I know) or done possibly out of frustration (because you must admit, vague advice CAN be frustrating when one is already exasperated). I know it's not an apology, but please know that he wasn't trying to snub you in any way.
And I wish you wouldn't assume we don't talk to you because we're close-minded. That isn't the issue.
laurenlou: I appreciate your comment, and I don't mind you blog-stalking. In fact, I've been blog-stalking you for awhile. You need to update more. :-p
ReplyDeleteJessica: To be honest, I regret posting this entry. The situation reminded me of high school and I was frustrated that our Vocal Ensemble wasn't as close as others (in my opinion, at least).
In regard to your last paragraph (about being close-minded), if people from my past suddenly stop talking to me (or responding to my comments/messages), I automatically assume it's because I'm gay, especially in this state. I know that assuming makes an ass out of you and me, but you certainly have to look at the situation from my perspective.
And if people don't stop talking to me because I'm gay, I'd certainly like to know why.